false alarm. still invincible.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
