We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
