i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
