You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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