I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
