is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
