the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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