I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I need to calm my uterus...
Randomize
