it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
