I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
