is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
