Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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