so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
