whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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