Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Terrible idea I love it
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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