just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
