She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
