I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
