You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
