I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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