Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Boobs are out for the taking
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
