Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I supernannyed him into submission
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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