I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
