I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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