I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
