I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
