I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Randomize
