WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
No subtext here. People are naked.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
