Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
wow bdsm is so cute
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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