i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
