In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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