how can u be prego again
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
