So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
