Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
