are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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