What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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