So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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