I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
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