i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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