In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
soo... how was my night?
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