the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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