my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
