You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
