while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
