i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
