tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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