I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
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