And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
