What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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