Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
